Disclaimer - I have not seen Michael Clayton yet, and thus did not use it for the following criteria.Step 1: Don't write an original story.
Atonement, Into the Wild, There Will Be Blood, and No Country For Old Men were all adapted from books.
Step 2: Set your story in the past.
Juno and Michael Clayton were the only nominees set in the present.
Step 3: Make the majority of your main characters completely unlikeable.
Blood's Daniel Plainview was a sociopath. No Country's murderous Chigurh was chasing after an incompetent redneck. Atonement's stars were snotty and self-absorbed. Into the Wild's "hero" was a self-righteous child. Juno is probably the most annoying adolescent in history ("Honest to blog?" Really?)
Step 4: Hire a very lenient editor.
All of the nominees were around the 150-minute mark. Do these movies really need to be two and a half hours long? I blame Peter Jackson. When LOTR and King Kong come in at over three hours each, two and a half doesn't sound so bad. But it is...
Step 5: Most or all of your characters must die, and the audience must leave discouraged about the state of mankind.
I won't spoil the movies for those of you who haven't seen them, but this year's Oscar crop was one depressing collection.
Addendum: Despite my lack of affection for 2007's noms, there were viable reasons why they were chosen. Day-Lewis is amazing in Blood. Atonement's score and cinematography are top-notch. Tommy Lee's No Country sheriff was perfect (and underrated), as was the Cohen's pacing. And Into the Wild had some fantastic supporting performances from Hal Holbrook, William Hurt, and Catherine Keener.
My Personal Oscar Picks for 2007
Best Picture - Transformers (Eat me)
Best Actor in a Leading Role - Chris Cooper (Breach)
Best Actor in a Supporting Role - Albert Finney (The Bourne Ultimatum)
Best Actress in a Leading Role - Marketa Irglova (Once)
Best Actress in a Supporting Role - Saoirse Ronan (Atonement)
Best Director - David Fincher (Zodiac)
Best Score - Hans Zimmer (Pirates 3)
Best Song - "How Do You Know?" (Enchanted)
Best Visual Effects - Transformers
Best Cinematography - 300
Best Animated Feature - Beowulf
Best Original Screenplay - Stephen Knight (Eastern Promises)
Best Adapted Screenplay - Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary (Beowulf)
Are you addicted to Lost? Rest easy, there's a cure:
That guy at the end sure looks like Willie Fuchs.
4 comments:
Wow, I don't know where to start with this one. Sounds like you're pretty disgruntled with the academy. But you have to remember, just because a movie doesn't make you feel good, doesn't mean it is a bad movie. Life is not all happy.....which I know that you know. While I don't agree with every academy choice (Tommy Lee Jones for NCFOM was my favorite supporting performance of the year and didnt get nommed), I think you have to give some creedence to a lot of their decisions. I will try to give you mine when I have time. Should make for good discussion.
Haha, I'm very aware of the emotional reality of life, and don't expect movies to be any freer from suffering. I suppose I expect the characters in movies to learn or grow from their suffering, whereas most of the ones from this year's crop stay pretty much the same.
Love to hear your picks. And I don't REALLY think Transformers was the best movie. I just enjoyed it the most.
One more thing - most of my picks aren't exactly "feel-good movies" either (Eastern Promises, Breach, Bourne, Zodiac, Once, etc.)
The best movie of the year was OBVIOUSLY 300. Where are you peoples heads at.
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