Top Ten TV Shows From My Youth

10. GUTS

Oh what I would've done to get my hands on a piece of that Agro-Crag. Of course, those glowing green plastic rocks couldn't possibly have been actual pieces of the Crag, seeing as the 'real' mountain was made out of foam and particle board. But still, can you imagine having a souvenir like that in your house today? It's the size of a Maytag dryer! No one could ever call you a loser again, because you outperformed two other awkward adolescents in events like jumping from one padded bridge to another over and over while wearing a climbing harness and a NASA spacesuit, all under the watch of "MO!" and that guy from Yes, Dear.

9. Saved By the Bell

I'm sure pretty much every kid in the 90's watched this for about 13 minutes in the morning before being late to school, but did you ever notice how often Zack Morris "broke the fourth wall"? Apparently he was the only character to realize that he was in a television show. Pretty existential for a teen-targeted sitcom. This show also deserves credit for introducing Tiffani-Amber Thiessen into the nightly dreams of 12-year-olds across the country, all of whom hated it when the girl from King of Queens stole Zach's heart that summer at the Beach Club. Oh and I'm still convinced that Jessie and Slater are the same actor. The special effects crew should be rewarded for a brilliant use of wardrobe design and split-screens.

8. Two Guys, A Girl, and a Pizza Place

This is my most obscure choice, as I doubt many people actually watched this, but the show was hilarious. You also owe it something for making Ryan Reynolds famous (the guy in Blade: Trinity and this year's Definately, Maybe), as well as the adorable blonde from Monk. Also on the show? That's right, Tiffani-Amber Thiessen slash Kelly Kapowski. And Nathan Fillion from Firefly, Serenity, and Lost (the husband that Kate selfishly drugged and abandoned).

7. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

I don't think there's really much I can say about this one. Just don't pretend like you don't know every word to the theme song.

6. Home Improvement

Another indisputable classic. I literally watched this everyday after school at 4:00. Alas, the days before Tim Allen was in awful movie after awful movie, and before Al was in every third infomercial. And weren't those tacky transitions great? You know, right before a commercial, when some inanimate object in the room would come flying at you and swallow the screen? Oh, and the original, brunette Heidi was way better than her replacement, Borat's object of affection.

5. The Secret World of Alex Mack

I like to call this the Lost of SNICK. The background mythology captivated me back in 1994. What was the experimental chemical substance GC-161? How could Alex melt into a pool of goo like that water-alien in The Abyss? And I really thought I had a shot with this Larisa Oleynik girl. I still don't get how she could just disappear after 10 Things I Hate About You. Maybe she morphed into silicone for good and crawled off.

4. Doug

Doug Yancey Funnie, progenitor of the green sweater-vest. The theme music was just a bunch of guys going "doo-doot-doo", but that made it all the more hum-able. And I'm convinced that Doug shares talents with the kid in The Sixth Sense. It's the only way to explain why his best friend was deathly blue, while everyone else displayed healthy pigmentation.

3. Bill Nye the Science Guy

Who didn't wish they had this guy for 6th grade science? Aside from being hilarious, he invented the Marsdial, a magnifying glass that uses water, and applies to be an astronaut with NASA every two years. How can they keep turning him down? IT'S BILL NYE. He could find life on Mars and then show an 8-year-old how to grow a Martian in his backyard with a potato and three PVC pipes.

2. Legends of the Hidden Temple

I still don't understand why those kids had so much trouble with the silver monkey puzzle. There are three pieces. One of them has a rectangular base with feet. One of them is a torso with arms. The other is a head. It's not a totem pole or an abstract Van Gogh figure. Just look at the Green Monkey on your t-shirt and copy that. And don't be intimidated by the terrifying natives from Raiders of the Lost Ark that come out of NOWHERE and shove a spear in your face.

1. Boy Meets World

This wasn't just a television show. I knew these people. I was sad for days when Topanga said she was moving to Pittsburg. "You're meant for each other! Can't you see that?" I also identified with Cory, because I too had hair like a brillo pad in middle and high school, so much so that my nickname was inevitably "Cory Matthews" for a considerable period of time. Not that it bothered me. I loved the guy. I just don't understand where his sister went for like three seasons. Or how Mr. Feeny could be his teacher in middle school, high school, and college.

Did I forget your favorite show? Let me know by clicking that link down there and posting a comment. Or don't. I won't make you.

Post Script: You can actually get Legends of the Hidden Temple and GUTS t-shirts here, and Boy Meets World is available on DVD at Amazon.